"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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