Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Rumble strips road head = magical
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
