why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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