so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
