I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
