The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
