There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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