Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
