how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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