just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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