K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
