Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
