Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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