I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
