Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
