Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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