He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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