I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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