How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
