I wanna bring you to show and tell
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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