hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
