soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
