After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
