to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i believe in u and ur pee
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
