im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
