I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
