I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
