I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
