I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
