I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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