just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I love you. Go after that dick
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
