Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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