yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Randomize
