I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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