his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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