Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
