Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
oh god the rape fog is back!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
