Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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