My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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