i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
