My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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