the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
