I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
