Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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