i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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