I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
