i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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