Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Life is so much better after having sex.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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