can u get pink eye on your cock?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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