we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
