Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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