Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
