marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
