Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
